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The Bitch is Back

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Perform for me on cam! Dial 888-491-0752

Perform for me on cam! Dial 855-9DESIRE

And that bitch would be me.

Though I’ve been able to stay in touch with my stable of regulars, I’ve not had an opportunity to really sign on openly for a few months. I’ve changed re-entered an old career, and have been hit with a crap-ton of stuff in my first few months there.

Yes, crap-ton is a word. Because I say so.

I know that several of you have tried to reach me.  I can see the missed calls and it makes me sad, because I am sure that I would have enjoyed tormenting you.  But fear not…I have an assistant at work now, and I am going to have more time to call my own.

Which means more time to delight in playing with more of you.

I will also be operating on a semi-regular schedule starting on the 26th.  That does not mean anything too rigid.  The very notion of that just makes the rebel in me want to stomp my boots right down on your balls.

Honestly, truth be told, I want to do that a lot of the time anyhow.  But there will be times when you can *generally* count on me being around.

I’ll be engaged in some private play over the weekend, but there will be ebbs and flows to that.  If I get the chance, and am inclined, I may pop on.  If not, I will post more info on anticipated hours at the beginning of the week.

Savor the anticipation.

 

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Bracket Challenge

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College hoops and erotica are a great combination!

College hoops and erotica are a great combination!

I need to start off by saying that I’ve decided there will not be a twist to our Cock Stock Follow the Market Game, or at least not in the foreseable furture.   After some deliberation, I determined that what I wanted to do had the potential to not work out well.  So I’m shelving it for now, and the only twist that you are getting is thinking for 2 days that there would be a twist. 

That said, I did think it would be fun to do something else, and that, boys and girls, brings us to the topic of this post, namely, the Bracket Challenge. 

Rules, Rules, We’ve Got to Have Rules

Here’s how it will work.  If you’d like to play, you can click the button below.  You’ll have to have a NiteFlirt account to do so, and if you don’t have one, you can sign up here.   NiteFlirt will put 3 free minutes on your account if you use that link.  There are some restrictions on that, and you’ll have to read up on them at the site, because I don’t claim to have them memorized.   Once you have your account set up,  click the button below.  That sends me a nominal tribute, and I will, in turn, send you the invite to my online Bracket Challenge Group.

 

Though the group is invite only, be sure to sign up with an anonymous name, as the information will be visible to everyone that plays.  I’m not going to use any weighting system.  To keep things simple this year, each correct pick will be worth one point. 

Anyone that scores higher than I do will receive a copy of non-exclusive erotic audio of my choosing.  What to I mean by non-exclusive?  It means that if there are 5 people that score higher than me they will all get the same audio.  However, it is not an audio that will be posted elsewhere.  Semi-exclusive would be an apt description. 

I’ll chose the subject matter.  Since my playthings have such a wide variety of interests, it will likely be something fairly across-the-board like a stroker audio.  Of course, that will torment my chastity boys, but anything that torments them is good in my eyes. ~winks~

Since the first game is tomorrow, there isn’t much time for you to get in before the lock.  (I decided to exclude the ‘get in’ games.  That gives you until Thursday.) So don’t tarry, and we’ll have combine erotica with hoops for some fun!  One bracket per person, and deadline is the tipoff of the 1st game.

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Missed Me?

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Perform for me on cam! Dial 888-491-0752

Perform for me on cam! Dial 888-491-0752

It has been a good while since I posted, hasn’t it? Much has happened in my life since then, and while the changes were for the better, they were incredibly hectic, and pushed blog updates very far down on the list of priorities. I’m glad to say that thinks have evened out somewhat, and I expect to be updating more frequently again.

I know that a couple of callers were able to make it all the way through the NFL season Masturbation Games without giving up.  Both of them had given themselves the designation as Hall of Famer, and I know they endured a long, grueling season.  But they suffered through denial for me, and it pleased me.

I’ve been asked repeatedly about putting up a firm schedule.  That probably isn’t going to happen, though I will do my best to keep you all informed of my general whereabouts.  As of now, there is some technical issue with my pages not showing up, and I’ll be looking into that, as time allows.  In the meantime, if you want to talk to me,  picking up the phone is the best place to start.  If you’ve tried that, and still aren’t catching me, then drop me a line, and we’ll discuss an appointment.

You may have noticed, but the Yahoo Pingbox is forever gone from the site.  That happened for 2 reasons:

1) Yahoo discontinued the feature.  I know that there are probably alternatives to it, but I have not given them much thought yet because of #2.

2)  I was on a call one day, and I had a message come in on the pingbox.  I sent a very quick response that I was on the line, but would get back with them as soon as the call was over.  But they didn’t want to listen, and repeatedly asked me over and over again when I would respond to them.  Those types of people are not the types to interact with me.  So I decided then to pull any feature that could be used by someone who could not listen, could not respect my time, or the time of the person who was in session with me.

I do have a Yahoo ID that is only given out to established callers that like to show off on cam for me.  Otherwise, email is an option for any pre/between call questions.

I’m thinking of reviving the Cock Stock game that we were playing last fall for all my edging playthings.  If you have any stocks in mind that you think would be fun to use for the game, leave me a comment.

I’ll be around through the evening, so if you’ve been wanting to catch up, now is your chance.!

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Time to Crack That Whip

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Time to Crack That Whip

Time to Crack That Whip

Just typing out those words put the tune of the Devo song “Whip It” in my head, and made me want to dance.  Alas, since there is no boot slut to bring me my dancing boots, I’ll stay right here in my chair, and see to the task at hand.

My Self Imposed Alarm Has Chimed

When I started out on this particular journey, I gave myself a year to figure out if it was something that I wanted to pursue or not.  I thought that would be an adequate amount of time to see how distance domination stacked up to face-to-face interactions, how power exchange would play out, etc.

That page of the calendar is history now, and I’ve decided that I do indeed enjoy it and wish to continue.  While I’m not going to claim to having really connected with every single person that I’ve spoken with in a year, there are enough of that I have truly connected with to know that distance domination is something that can work very well with the right parties.

That Said, I Want More Freedom

I’ve always been one to want to grab the reins and do things my own way.  Though as I think about it, I suppose that comes with the territory of being a dominant woman.

That desire, coupled with the experiences of the past year, have cemented the notion that I do indeed want to push forward and set up an independent line.   I want the freedom of really focusing on the calls that I enjoy most, and the people whose energy meshes best with my own.

Mistress Clone Machine, Anyone?

This will still be a process that unfolds over time.  I have many irons in the fire, and to add another won’t be a neat, tidy little thing right out of the gate.  Being a perfectionist, I debated on whether I wanted to wait until my blog was picture perfect, with a goodly backlog of reading material, before I went live with a number for calls.

I decided against that.  There is no need to wait.  Life isn’t perfect, and D/s is an evolutionary process, as will be not only this blog, but my ventures into the waters of an independent line.

So overlook the mess, or make yourself useful and pick up a broom.  I’m in the middle of a huge project that is not phone related, and it will be a bit before I have time to learn all the nuances of the framework of this blog.

That said, the important parts…the parts that really matter…are already in place.

 

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The Pendulum of Suffering and Pleasure

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I got a direct message on twitter asking me about my chosen name, Suffer My Desire.  They asked if I was a brutal, whip wielding dominatrix.

There simply is no easy answer to that question, because at times, I most certainly can be.  I glory in dishing out hardcore BDSM, and in my fantasy life, I would get to shoot for Divine Bitches, abusing and fucking men, in an incredible environment.

But that is one aspect of me.  There’s another that likes to feminize men, another that likes to cuckold them, another that likes to be worshiped, another that likes to form relationships, another that likes to nurture, etc, etc.

Just like a full cut diamond, I have many, many facets.  As do each of us.  The totality of me is not defined by a name or any of those facets in an isolated state.   So as much as I like to plunge a submissive down the icy depths of physical pain, I equally enjoy picking out new shoes for a cross dresser.

I think that suffering is something that is generally linked to our desires.  Rather than type out a lengthy manifesto on the why of that, I’ll just give the nickle version…everything in life has a price.  To pay that price usually requires some form of suffering, though it may not be martyrdom type of suffering.

It can be the type of suffering which simply means that you feel something very keenly.  And that, class, is what I want from you…I want you to feel.  It can be joy, pain, arousal, reverence…any combination of those things, or something entirely different.  But I want you to quiver with the passion of feeling, and I want you to feel alive again, reborn through the fog of complacency.

I want you to experience pleasure, then I want the pendulum to swing, and I want you to suffer.

For me.

 

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Exploring My Own Path in the World of Kink

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It’s now been several months since I set this up on my server, and thought I would get things going.  However as we all know, life doesn’t always follow the best laid plans of mice and men or of dominant females, for that matter.

Since first putting pen to ink here, metaphorically speaking,  I’ve taken a position as an operator with a company.  I’ve learned many things in my 4+ months with them, and foremost amongst the lessons is that the term phone sex is really a misnomer.  Sure, there are some people that I talk to that are only concerned with the 10, 30, or 300 minutes they are on the line with me.  Once that connection is broken, so is the tie to me.

But for many, that just isn’t true.  They want interaction past the call.  They want to go deep and they’ve chosen me as a guide on their path.  Or at least on this segment of it.  Some simply need to be heard, and feel empathy from another human being.  I have several transgendered and transsexual callers that fall into that category, but it certainly is not exclusive to them.  For in the end, isn’t that what we all want?  A connection…to be heard…and if not totally understood, at least accepted for who we are, with the layers and masks peeled away?

I get that.  I totally do.  It is the largest part of why I do what I do.  People who call me share their utmost private selves…the one that they may not be able to share with another person in the world.  To treat that with anything less than the highest regard is disrespectful.  So that means that when you talk to me, you get someone who is fully engaged and present, with their energy and focus on you.  Not on playing computer games, not on painting her nails or mentally planning her grocery list, but on you.

But I digress.  We were talking about the greatest reason that I enjoy distance domination, were we not?  And that reason would be that taking calls…especially the ones where I am able to really connect deeply with my caller…is just another faucet in the shiny diamond of kink that I enjoy.   Distance doesn’t mean lesser.

It can open the doors to encounters that far more powerful than many face to face ones that I have had.

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